| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2008|03:25 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | simon | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crappy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Thinking About You - Radiohead | ] |
I FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES OF MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND AGAIN. I even packed my camera! Why am I such a tard? When he meets someone far prettier/wittier than me (it won't take long, let's face it) what will I remember him by? Boo!!
MASSIVE jealousy pang when we were messing around on his Facebook and he had an email convo going with a pretty-looking girl. I didn't read it though - and acted cool. Like this "Oh it's long, BORING!" Give me an Oscar please! I acted my socks off :P I think it would have bothered me less if he ever replied to my emails without me having to ask (which I hate doing) and then says he doesn't have time when he replies to other people's emails, evidently.
I would like to say I could see this lasting the distance but I really don't know. There are a lot of things that worry me, like "oh I don't do drugs" and then I found a grinder in his coat pocket. Or "I smoke like three times a day" and then smoking twice that and then some. Or "when I get your letter I will write back straight away" and never finding the time. All these things, I'm sure, are minor to most people, but they make me want to literally die, which is why I don't think I am cut out for relationships. They just pile up and pile up. I don't know if it is because of have had shitty boyfriends in the past (one was rough with me, one was a drug addict, one cheated on me over ten times) or because I am just a stupid girl. I'd probably place money on the last one.
I had a horrible experience today which involved me going into a white room with plastic blue chairs and having to tell someone about my sex life/menstrual cycle. I hope I never have to do it again. I think being a girl is so much bullshit sometimes. Luke just told me a funny story in which a girl wrote "Michael Stipe" in menstrual blood on his wall. Actually, now I think of it, it wasn't funny, just pretty gross...
As is the norm with my sad-posts, this will probably be deleted tomorrow. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 14th, 2008|06:54 am] |
Tibbs died a year ago today. Wow, a whole year! Here's a picture of him dancing at the grand age of eight (he was nine and a bit when he died, a testimony to garden bunnies!):
Our house has been sold, which is a horrible feeling. I'm going to have to share a room with my mum until September at the earliest. Also a horrible feeling!
I have only six chapters (out of thirty six) remaining of my novel. I don't talk about it, really. I don't tell anyone what it's about. Simon gets as excited about it as I do, which makes me work harder. He said when we live together he is going to get me a desk and a chair, with paper and pens, and bring me flowers and drinks while I work. He called me his little writer girl. I did feel a bit insane inside. Happy insane.
I'm so apprehensive about him coming to stay on Friday. In THIS house, with THIS family, in THIS town. I suppose it will only be as unpleasant as I make it. |
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| Here we go again. |
[May. 3rd, 2008|01:39 pm] |
I should mention I'm in love. I forget to eat (this is the easiest 4lb I've ever lost), I forget to sleep, I forget to write, I forget to be sad, I forget to do anything but lie on my bed until he comes home and I can talk to him. It all sounds very unhealthy, but it doesn't feel like that at all.
I have rekindled my love for sushi. Sometimes I think "Oh! I should be eating!" and buy some vegetarian sushi and have a wonderful time sitting quietly in the staff room using my chopsticks and being careful not to overload with wasabi.
I need to tidy my room and pick out some DVD's I want to watch with Simon when he comes to stay for the weekend (in two weeks time - haha!) |
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